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	Fiction Non-Fiction Poetry Film Art MEB Authors Press Events Distribution Contacts	By The Time You Finish This Book You Might Be Dead The Surreal and Sexual Debut Novel by Aaron Zimmerman NEW YORK, NY, March 15, 2004 — You have exactly two options: 1. You can lead an uninspiringly mundane existence, devoid of any true pleasure. 2. Or you can take a risk and read author Aaron Zimmerman’s debut novel, *By The Time You Finish This Book You Might Be Dead, which was just published by New York-based Spuyten Duyvil. Recently cited in both Publishers Weekly’s “First Fiction” column as well as Poets & Writers’ “Page One” column, the book invites the reader on a wild ride with Eliot Greebee, an overweight, middle-aged Certified Public Accountant. The self-righteous slobbery of A Confederacy of Dunces’ Ignatius J. Reilly combined with the chemically-unbalanced urban excess of the narrator of Bright Lights Big City, Greebee is more than your average schlemiel; he is also the creator of CUTLAS. An acronym for “Cost/benefit Unit-based Transactional Life Analysis System,” CUTLAS is a mathematically-based system designed to justify a purely hedonistic lifestyle. CUTLAS followers are free to eat and drink as much as they like, take as many drugs as they wish, shoplift, forsake all cleanliness, and visit prostitutes—all the while keeping track of how little* time they have left. The principles of CUTLAS are set forth in Greebee’s own self-help book, excerpts of which appear throughout the novel. Greebee’s systematic existence is threatened when he meets Justine, a beautiful and strange woman half his age, at a rooftop party in midtown Manhattan. Greebee becomes smitten with her almost immediately, and he follows her into a bizarre world of ferris wheels, martinis, hallucinogens, French fries, belligerent midgets, sex clubs, and even Death himself (seen combing the beach of Coney Island with a metal detector). As Eliot finds himself falling in love with Justine, he also finds himself going against all of the principles he lays out in the CUTLAS manifesto. Will Eliot get the girl and/or abandon his whole philosophy? A hilarious send up of the self-help industry and a non-stop trip through the fringes of New York City, By The Time You Finish This Book You Might Be Dead shows how one man’s quest for love and pleasure can threaten his very existence. Aaron Zimmerman is the Founder and Executive Director of NY Writers Coalition (NYWC), a not-for-profit organization that provides free and low-cost creative writing workshops for people from groups historically deprived of voice in society. NYWC runs workshops for, among others, at-risk teens, economically disadvantaged youth, and adults living in supportive housing. Zimmerman is also the Director of Manhattan Writers, a creative writing workshop program he founded in 1997. Aaron Zimmerman lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn, with his beagle Chester.

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By The Time You Finish This Book You Might Be Dead

The Surreal and Sexual Debut Novel by Aaron Zimmerman

NEW YORK, NY, March 15, 2004 — You have exactly two options:

1. You can lead an uninspiringly mundane existence, devoid of any true pleasure.

2. Or you can take a risk and read author Aaron Zimmerman’s debut novel, By The Time You Finish This Book You Might Be Dead, which was just published by New York-based Spuyten Duyvil.

Recently cited in both Publishers Weekly’s “First Fiction” column as well as Poets & Writers’ “Page One” column, the book invites the reader on a wild ride with Eliot Greebee, an overweight, middle-aged Certified Public Accountant. The self-righteous slobbery of A Confederacy of Dunces’ Ignatius J. Reilly combined with the chemically-unbalanced urban excess of the narrator of Bright Lights Big City, Greebee is more than your average schlemiel; he is also the creator of CUTLAS.

An acronym for “Cost/benefit Unit-based Transactional Life Analysis System,” CUTLAS is a mathematically-based system designed to justify a purely hedonistic lifestyle. CUTLAS followers are free to eat and drink as much as they like, take as many drugs as they wish, shoplift, forsake all cleanliness, and visit prostitutes—all the while keeping track of how little time they have left. The principles of CUTLAS are set forth in Greebee’s own self-help book, excerpts of which appear throughout the novel.

Greebee’s systematic existence is threatened when he meets Justine, a beautiful and strange woman half his age, at a rooftop party in midtown Manhattan. Greebee becomes smitten with her almost immediately, and he follows her into a bizarre world of ferris wheels, martinis, hallucinogens, French fries, belligerent midgets, sex clubs, and even Death himself (seen combing the beach of Coney Island with a metal detector).

As Eliot finds himself falling in love with Justine, he also finds himself going against all of the principles he lays out in the CUTLAS manifesto. Will Eliot get the girl and/or abandon his whole philosophy? A hilarious send up of the self-help industry and a non-stop trip through the fringes of New York City, By The Time You Finish This Book You Might Be Dead shows how one man’s quest for love and pleasure can threaten his very existence.

Aaron Zimmerman is the Founder and Executive Director of NY Writers Coalition (NYWC), a not-for-profit organization that provides free and low-cost creative writing workshops for people from groups historically deprived of voice in society. NYWC runs workshops for, among others, at-risk teens, economically disadvantaged youth, and adults living in supportive housing. Zimmerman is also the Director of Manhattan Writers, a creative writing workshop program he founded in 1997. Aaron Zimmerman lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn, with his beagle Chester.